Ha kau, tajuk. Haha.
Ok la, better than "Uluit... Uluit tapak kakai!!" :P

Today I nak cakap pasal empowerment. Apa kaitan dengan tahi lalat? Dan kaki?

When I was young, my own makcik-makcik and the rest in the kampung would say to me -
Jauh jalan ni besar nanti... (repeatedly!)
Just because I have a tahi lalat di ibu jari kaki sebelah kanan.
It is bigger than normal tahi lalat but it is not even a tahi lalat hidup.
Whoever say that nowadays? Ada lagi ke orang read people fate with moles?

I however, grew up believing in that particular potential.
Of being away. But not exactly wonderlusting. Just away.
This was in November 2015.

So when I first flew off for my industrial attachment (practical training) in Kuching
at the end of my 3rd year degree program, I knew I'd be doing more of it.
I had 5 flights in total for a stretch of two months and a half. Twice in Boeing,
twice in 19 pax turbo-prop to & fro Miri (there was only 3 of us onboard =D)
and once on VIP helicopter hovering Kuching city.

BUT I also knew I do not want that kind of life on daily basis (aircraft maintenance engineer,
flight engineer) because honestly, flying is not something I'm really into, unless I really have to.

Coming back, I knew I do not want to work in a hangar too and I wanna be in an air-conditioned office, but I also want to have certain physical engagement with the flying machine.
Never knew such work existed.

Thus it became so real when I was employed by Honeywell Aerospace (M) where I get to sit in an air-conditioned office in an aircraft engine workshop. Getting my first passport, being sent out to foreign land for multiple times (Singapore je pon - to our parent company)
and Japan for some meeting (alone!).

Whenever I'm away, it always ring me.
The statement from makcik-makcik seems to be more like a prayer that I believed in.
How such a simple statement had unintentionally planted a seed in my mind.
How the empowerment was done right without even realising.
It might not be the tahi lalat (or it could have been a sign).

It's about how important conscious & unconscious empowerment done around us.
What kind of seed we are planting in our children or community.
Be it good or bad, it is us who decide.

Once I'm done with my Master (if I got the scholarship),
I think I'm going after a PhD. Just to see how far it gets me.
Embry-Riddle Aeronautical University has a JV with Singapore Aviation Academy,
and the course is available online (with minimal campus residency)!
All in all, it is in Allah's decree.
InsyaAllah.

Jauh nak jalan ni...

Something happened last week and I confided the event to my Blossom & Bubbles
(I'm Buttercup, if you hadn't figured it out yet). No, I'm not gonna elaborate on what had happened, as I shall stick to my principle to not have anything negative documented here.

But I just felt silly for being happy on the encounter (after being pointed out by Bubbles).
I should have been alarm even at an attempt of communication. It has always been one-sided and manipulative. And I was the one who was cursed as such.

Satu je I nak cakap, how any of you came into an agreement
to get me to be a part of it is purely SHAMEFUL.
I guess I didn't take a wrong decision not getting myself involved all these while.
I didn't burn the bridge, I just ignore the maintenance and let it structurally degrades over time,
as it only serves you. Honestly, I'm still at the state of disbelief.
Towards my own feelings and everybody involved.

 

By Tariq Fadzin

Assalamualaikum.

Segala apa yang kita taipkan, katakan, videokan secara online ini, pasti ada tersimpan rekodnya di suatu tempat. Apa yang kita tengok, apa yang kita search, walau diclearkan... memang tak ada orang nampak, tapi ada authority yang simpan.

Kalau tak percaya, cuba la buat jenayah online. Tunggu la depa korek keluar semua nanti.

Key point is, all this data boleh direkod kerana kita berinteraksi melalui gadget kita di suatu alam yang dinamakan alam Internet. Depa tak boleh rekod apa yang kita cakap di dalam hati, ataupun apa yang kita cakap secara offline.

Tapi, kalau kita online saja, semua benda depa rekodkan. Even benda yang aku taip ini...

So...

Sekarang kita berada di dalam alam kehidupan ini dan kita berinteraksi dengan dunia kita melalui gadget kita yang power nak mampus yang dinamakan tubuh badan dan pancaindera kita.

Badan kita ni kenderaan saja woii. Yang membaca apa yang aku tulis ini sekarang bukanlah 'kenderaan' tetapi 'pemandu'. Kalau 'kenderaan' yang membaca, lidah kena gerak, mulut kena buka, angin keluar masuk paru-paru kena control.

When you are silently reading this sentence, you are reading it in your own voice without using your mouth, and you are listening to what you have read without using your ears.

You, my friend, is a 'driver'.

Somebody of authority is certainly recording everything.

I've been using a new route for more than a month now
and never did I notice how beautiful everything is until I played my brain-game. 

I changed cities like I own it,

calling out all the towns I know like I'm there. 

I started noticing the bright yellow leaves, sitting benches, 

aged shady trees, uniquely designed pole - just to name a few.

It makes me wonder where my mind has wandered all these while.

I rarely look passed the cars in front of mine. 

I did not notice the bunch of benches for the past one whole month!

The benches reminded me of my solo trip to Narita when I thought
how thoughtful the Japanese to have sitting benches around the neighbourhood.
Well we do have them around too - if we look hard enough. 

We hardly care about the brand of the cars driven in foreign land, 

thus why we are so concern back home? Who drives what, 

which elite township our friend's house is located. Like c'mon!

It is a different set of eyes that we use while we are travelling

when we look for things to observe. To be impressed, to be inspired.

Why aren't we doing the same thing here in our own land?

We are hardly aware of our own surrounding, feeling like we are so deserving of what it can offer - well until it is taken away from us. 

I think we should be a traveler/tourist in our own place.

Let us feel unfamiliar to our daily surrounding and we shall 'see' more.

It started with a clip of a moving train

when I was reminded of how powerful our brain is.

We can change the direction of the train going in or out of the tunnel

just by telling ourselves whether it is going in or going out.

How amazing.

This morning, when I was driving to work - in the most beautiful and blessed district in the country - I was again reminded of how I used to tease my brain to imagine the places I am at.

It was more than half a decade ago, when I was weary of my surrounding - workplace, the to and fro congestion (though it was less than half an hour) - I started imagining I was not where I was.

You know how our brain tied up our feelings and emotion to the places we have been,
whereby when you return to the place - you will have the same feeling that it is 'the' place.

Let me simplify that.

Say if you go to Melaka, your feelings will be different than your feelings when you are in Johor. Or Tesco and Giant. Something in you know it is not the same place.

That is the game I play with my brain. 

I tried telling myself I am somewhere else.

Back to more than half a decade ago, desperate of a new surrounding -
I had to condition my brain that I was in one; in occasions.
I remember seeing a couple of leafless bare trees by the side of Federal Highway
and imagining I was somewhere else (with four seasons) and it was autumn.

It didn't stop at leafless trees, you see. It became a routine whenever I see things
and tell my brain I was somewhere else. It made my day.
I was happy with the feelings it entailed. 

Eg. When I'm in Teluk Intan, I'd tell myself I'm in Rembau.

If I was in Mid Valley, I'd tell myself I'm in KLCC. 

See how different it feels.

And then the good things happened, where I have completely forgotten of my own brain game, when things turn into reality and I don't have to keep imagining.

The power of imagination.

This morning, I was not weary of my surrounding.

However, I have became so used to my surrounding that it is hard for me to be grateful for it.

And I started telling myself I am somewhere else.

Manhattan, Stockholm, Mumbai.

And it was beautiful.

I remember feeling depressed as a kid for a few days after listening to a folk story of 'Merak
& Gagak'. I was probably 5 then. It was about how Merak (peacock) was painted beautifully by Gagak (crow) and how Merak poured black colour onto Gagak as to return the favour.

I remember asking, "Why black?".

Even if she's helplessly un-artistic, she could at least simply pour other monotonous paint -
say blue, or red, or yellow - crow could have appeared not as attractive as her (if that was truly her intention), but at least... not colourless. (I didn't say all these words at 5, obviously...
but it was what went through my mind.)

My teacher tried to justify the fact all colours finished during the process of colouring Merak,

I said she should do polka dots, or stripes. Or they should make it half colourful and half black - for both. Merak hitam kat bawah, Gagak hitam kat atas, something like that.

But I was told Merak ran out of time and talent and passion and good conscience.

And it depressed a 5-year-old.

And I believe I was not alone.

I still do - believe - the story does depressed other 5-year-olds.

Credit
But this is a magical work of art and Gagak didn't get much credit for it.